You Got One More Time
Lets talk about boundaries.
What is a boundary? A boundary is essentially a line that is drawn for someone or something not to cross. This is to limit someone or something from that area or activity. So, when someone tells you not to do something pertaining them, they are establishing a boundary that they are expecting you to respect.
For instance, if I tell you NOT to touch me or rub on me, I am informing you of a boundary I have for my body that I do not like to be touched. I am then expecting you to respect said boundary and NOT touch or rub on me.
Simple right?
Apparently not. Because yall raggedy asses can’t seem to respect people’s boundaries. I mean damn, is it that hard to hear someone tell you something and then not do it? Some of yall weren’t disciplined as kids and it shows. And then some of you have the audacity to get mad when a boundary is reinforced as if you have some type of right or privilege to people.
Aight so boom, I was at work and a co-worker came up behind me at my desk and started rubbing on me. I snapped and told her to “STOP TOUCHING ME!” I was then told I was “mean” and “needed love.” Quite frankly, it pissed me off and hurt my feelings. I normally don’t care about people not liking my boundaries but for some reason this stung a tad. This person was a repeat offender by the way. When she rubbed me before, I asked her nicely to stop and she told me “I can touch you if I want.” And THEN proceeds to rub on me some more. I’m not lying. So, when I finally snap, instead of checking yourself for what YOU did wrong, you immediately try and hurt me with words and negativity because I didn’t fit a narrative you created about me.
AND THEN, to tell me I need love (I don’t really care about the mean part because I can be at times so eh, grain of salt) and that the love I need is from a man. Chile, a cussing out was brewing. So, let me get this straight sis. Because I don’t want you or anyone else touching me excessively, I tell you this numerous times, I finally snap because you aren’t listening, means I need a man to provide me love? That within itself is problematic but that’s a whole nother blog.
This situation made me think about Summer Walker and her social anxiety.
Sis is not feeling people hugging on her and being around all that energy and I feel her. As an obligation from her label, I am sure, she hosted meet and greets at her concerts. One of her “fans” decided to ridicule her via social media regarding her interaction during the meet and greet. Now, I understand maybe being a tad disappointed but if you are a true fan of someone you know their personality. If this dud was a true fan of Summer Walker, she would have known going into this meet and greet that sis probably wasn’t going to be very social. I mean she was given instructions BEFORE hand about having her camera and everything out and ready and to NOT stand too close to her. So, what exactly were you expecting?
See that’s yall problem. Yall expecting YOU out of ME and that’s not how everyone is wired. When someone tells you who they are, BELIEVE THEM. (That’s not how the quote goes but I said what I said). You can’t get mad at someone for being themselves and creating boundaries. I mean you can, but you’ll only be disappointing yourself.
Here’s a few ways to adhere to other people’s boundaries:
Listen when someone tells you a boundary. Don’t let it go in one ear and out the other because that’s your friend and you think you can do what you want.
Pay attention to body language. You can literally tell when someone is uncomfortable by how they are standing. Is their body faced away from you like they want to walk off? Are their arms folded? Some body language came appear to be defensive and that should tell you that this person is now in defense mode.
Respect others when they tell you not to do something. We were not all raised the same way and what we like may not be what someone else likes. Additionally, we all have different experiences. You don’t know what someone has been through that may cause them to have certain boundaries and you crossing sad boundary could bring back harmful and hurtful memories.
Don’t joke about what YOU would do. Guess what? I don’t care what YOU would do. Here is what you WON’T do though. Period.
Don’t keep doing something when you know it bothers someone else. This ties in with respect. I don’t care if you are friends with someone. I don’t care if its your first cousin. I don’t care if yall have been going to church together, sitting on the same third pew for years. If someone tells you to stop...STOP!
I am really trying to save lives out here. Keep overstepping boundaries that are clearly laid out for you with the right one on the wrong day and you may catch more than a cold. But my name Bennett…
